skip to the loo

Published on: 4/29/2012

My heart's still pumping, and not only because I was just pruning with a bucksaw in preparation for this week's city-wide branch pick up. Upon entering the bathroom to get cleaned up from the yardwork I found what looked like a rat in the toilet. Heart skipped in the loo.

I'd been outside for several hours giving my wife plenty of time to plan and carry out this cruel joke, but she assured me she didn't put it there. At one time we had a toy rat, doesn't everyone?, but neither of us had seen it in quite some time, and how would it get in there on it's own anyway.

This was either a rat who had survived crawling up from the sewer only to drown in the toilet. Or did Bailey find the toy rat and just want to dispose of it? The least likely scenario would be a rat got in the house, climbed in the toilet and drowned. . . without anyone seeing it.

Flushing it would have been the easy solution, but wouldn't have answered the questions. (Even now we still have unanswered questions.) If this was a rat I wasn't going near it until I was sure it was dead, and even then only with a ten-foot pole. I can't help but think what would've happened if my wife had been the first to find it with me still outdoors!

Are we sure it was a rat and someone didn't just forget to flush? I know I have a weird diet, but whiskers, little feet and a long tail?

While we were discussing what it could be and how it got there, (if only Bailey could talk) I noticed the price tag down in the water hanging from one of those little plastic strings. Without telling Tam what I saw I gingerly picked up the toy by it's fur. She screamed so loud I thought I felt it move and dropped it back down. Now that would've been scary!

We have no explanation how the toy rat got in the toilet, don't know where it was before and don't even know why we owned a toy rat. Relieved it was just a toy and guaranteed we will never own another one.